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Welcome to Israel: where women run the outstanding...

Welcome to Israel: where women run the outstanding world of Israeli men

Like how I wrote the most controversial article about dating Mexican men in Spanish, it would’ve been extra cool if I have written this in Hebrew. However, this article is for all the women outside of Israel who has been writing to me endlessly: what’s dating an Israeli guy like?

Don’t look at me. I have not dated any Israeli formally but I know a bunch of guys whom I met from my trip in South America. Actually, they are everywhere. At 18, Israelis are required to serve the army (women for 2 years and men for 3 but it varies). The mandatory service freaks the hell out of their teenage rocking years because majority of them find it so hard to do it. Why do they go crazy? Put yourself in their shoes: if you are enforced to join the Army at a very young age, wouldn’t you be like, “why in the world would I do that and what the hell do I know about handling guns?” After the mental shenanigan in the barracks, by default, a big bulk of them travel. I am pretty sure you’ve stumbled upon one Israeli in your travels. THEY. ARE. EVERYWHERE.

screen-shot-2016-10-21-at-9-02-16-pmPhoto Source: Google search

But how much do you really know about these beautifully bronzed, blessed with sexy hair with a magnetic aura Israeli men? Okay, we know a lot of basic things like their mothers are always above any woman in the speed dial, their curse words sound like a spell from Harry Potter and that they are borderline obsessed with politics, among others. Through my 2-months traveling and living in Israel, I have come to the conclusion that women run this terrain of miserable but wonderful world of Israeli men.

A high five to the beautiful and strong women of Israel

The Israeli women did it. Strong, powerful, ambitious, career-driven, fun, beautiful, sexy as hell, leaning in together — I can seriously go on and on describing the women of Israel and everyone will agree with me. Achoti is a Hebrew term which means “my sister” and I have found an achoti in every Israeli women I met, young and old. When you do it right, they will be your extraordinary ally.

“Difficult” is a term coined for Israeli women because men tend to blurt these kinds of adjectives when they don’t get what they want. For many, it appeals as a negative form but for those who understand, difficult is good. You see, picking up an Israeli woman is the hardest task (and most expensive) in this country. Most guys get ignored here because of the lack of interest Israeli women parade every time they are offered drinks or forced by a guy to engage in a small talk. Sorry, they are just not interested. It will take a big blog of creativity to knock them off their feet. And oh yeah, yes, these badass women went to the army too. So don’t mess with them and don’t do something stupid. You’ll get yourself into trouble if you do.

It is pretty inspiring, these Israeli women. They know what they want and know when to get it. All they have to do is to ask nicely and the whole of Israel will combine their forces to make it happen.

img_1235Tel Aviv daily: the Mediterranean Sea plus all the hotstuff running around, playing frisbee, matkot and football — topless. 

It’s cultural, I guess. I haven’t explored the women’s department in-depth but I know that one thing is true:

Everything is up to you. 

Yes, you. Not just the Israeli women, but you. You girl, yes, wherever you are from, yes! It’s up to you.

Israeli men are the by-product of the strength that Israeli women have

My friends always wondered how possible it is for me to be out every night: drinking, socialising and painting Tel Aviv yellow without getting completely broke. “I always get things for free,” I would respond. Not as a blogger or a media person but as a woman. Try sitting down in one of the bars in Dizengoff by yourself. Oh no, you can bring your girl friends, too. Make sure you are not with guys because in split seconds, 5 different groups of Israeli men will come up to you, lay some drinks on the table and start the small talk. For foreigners like me and my European women squad in Tel Aviv, the opening line will be “so, where are you girls from?”

I can really say a big percentage of Israeli men are physically attractive (again, this is a default for me, I don’t know about you) somehow it will be hard to look away. However, wavelengths are not always the same. There should be something else behind all that gorgeousness. Something different. Something special.

I don’t really find it annoying when they just come up at the table and do these things. You know, the things that they do when picking up a girl. Most especially when I am getting free drinks! Come on, who says no to that! But the beauty of this is that, in Israel, the men are very polite and respectful. If you say “you’re not interested,” they will slowly leave you alone (still with the hopes of hooking up in their eyes) and let you be. This is so much different as oppose to some men from other countries who will curse at you, be aggressive and say “you are not pretty anyway.” There is no single cocky move from Israeli men even if most of them are entitled to it.

shakshukaPhoto Source: Google search

I am not Jewish (but I want to convert just so I can live in Israel longer) but I am very much aware about the religious practices of the jews. Yom Kippur is a Hebrew holiday which you are to repent and say sorry for the meanest things you’ve ever done in your life. So, 2 weeks ago, me and my girl friends prayed: “I am sorry to all the Israeli guys who gave me free drinks but didn’t get something in return.” 

As I said, it’s up to you.

Dating/seeing/hooking-up with an Israeli guy is above and beyond your wildest powers as a woman. “It’s up to you” is a big responsibility because you are in control of every situation. When things get awkward, challenging and out of control, there is no one to blame but you.

Let’s give a more concrete example to that: The ratio of my friendship with every human being in the world is 50% gay, 35% men and 15% women. Yes, I have more guy and gay friends because I tend to carefully choose the women in my circle. In Israel, I was caught up in so much situations where I had to sleepover a guy friend’s house for reasons such as late night hang outs or too disoriented to function kind of thing. Just to clarify: Israeli men are very caring even if you are not romantically involved. The level of care they show their girlfriends extends to sisters, girl friends, mothers, daughters and even strange foreign girls who can’t seem to navigate their way in Allenby. They are naturally thoughtful (helpful) and you don’t need to be in a relationship with one in order to experience that affection. But bear in mind that most Israeli guys are really looking for somebody to love. I think it’s a social must to be in a relationship or get married in Israel, just because.

Going back to the sleepover story, a good friend of mine whom I met in Peru said: “This is so weird that you are sleeping over and we are not doing anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“In Israel, when I am to spend a night with a girl, something sexual always happens. It is what it is. Majority of the population of Israel are Millennials (ages 18-35) and sex is just a way of life here.”

ketubahsPhoto Source: Google search

I am not from Israel and I will never ever engage myself in a very irresponsible act most especially when it means putting a dot to a very good friendship. For me, having sex with a good friend (Israeli or not) will just make things awkward and install some discomfort in the friendship dome. Sex definitely changes everything. It does not mean the same for Israelis but still, again and again, I value my friendships and I would I would only do this if I am attracted or romantically involved with someone.

But that is me. If you find yourself in this situation with an Israeli dude, remember:

It’s up to you.

If you say no, they will definitely stop bugging you. If you show some signs of interest and hot boxed controlled affection, they will never say no to that. Know that in this situation, you will be the one who will jump on them. Not the other way around because you know, they are very polite. Your jumping act will be fiercely, wildly and passionately reciprocated, I tell you that.

And if you decide not to screw things up and just leave them blue, the following day will not change anything. I was on the beach today with my European women squad and the “juice” topic came about.

Squad Girl #1: “Yeah, I didn’t have sex with him but when I woke up, there was water on the table together with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.”

Squad Girl #2: “Yes, OMG! I got pomegranate with orange!”

Squad Girl #3: “I got beetroot.”

Squad Girl #4: “Wait wait wait. Why didn’t I get any of these when I was the one who had sex?”

Me: “Not even water? Achoti, you are not in the right Israeli men crowd. Tonight, I will arrange you to go out with one of my guy friends and tomorrow, you will text me what juice you got, okay? Just for the sake of the experience. I mean the juice is a plus but there should be water, at least.”

“Squad Girl #3: “Agreed. But for me, still, the water is already too much. I mean, come on, dude, are we dating or what? It’s like a relationship I didn’t agree to. Come on, you don’t have to bring me water! I can do it myself but yeah, it’s just there. All the time. It never fails.”

Squad Girl #1: “It’s freakishly freaky how they treat you like girlfriends but in reality, it’s just an Israeli trait — to be polite. And I love it!”

img_1236Carmel Market hits with the squad.

The water thing is too much because you know, when you are hooking up, you are suppose to just come and go. You should be the girl who leaves the next morning but receiving this Ivy League hospitality changes the game. It leads many foreign women to get head over heels with an Israeli guy because they don’t make it difficult. They are loveable by nature and it’s so hard to beat.

“Just say it and they will do everything for you” is another observation I truly believed that everything is really up to me. From calling the bank, to installing the wifi, to storing my stuff while I am away, to getting my bike repaired, I’ve had my Israeli guy friends in Tel Aviv running errands for me and I didn’t even ask. As a new resident here, I am entitled to an unlimited cards of questions that have been useful in many situations.

“Hey, my bike is broken and I need it repaired. Would you know a place where I can bring it?”

“I am going to Dizengoff in a few. There is a bike shop near Pinsker. Shall I pass by your flat and bring your bike? I can do it, don’t worry, it’s on the way.”

It has been always “on the way” for some reasons. They would make you feel it’s not a hassle or you are not bothering. It was so much different from the machismo I experienced in Latin America where men have their balls over their head and just wouldn’t bother to do things for you because you are supposed to do things for them. I love that the Israelis do not feel emasculated when doing something for girls. They carry their masculinity with pride and at the right place. They don’t act like lap dogs. They don’t look like lap dogs! They always manage to make buying tampons for their girlfriends to look like an effortless draw of sexy. The Israeli men are born to make the modern feminist happy. You can even ask them to jump 20 times and run the whole Tel Aviv beach. They’ll do it for you. To abuse that card or not?

It’s up to you.

tel-avivPhoto Source: Google search

Hooking up or not, the Israeli men are listeners. They are men who you’d want to have long conversations with because they know how to listen. They know when to talk. Even if they are very annoyed or not in the same wavelength, they will just there, looking at you with so much love in their eyes and listen. It is very challenging to encounter men who listen but in Israel, there are plenty. You will never run out.

As many foreign women admitted, they are the best men to date but my sharing capacity has been reached. Every day, I am hanging out with different people from different walks of life but the most accurate has always been the Israeli men. I am definitely against stereotyping and I’d like to state a disclaimer here: each individual have unique lives and what I wrote here doesn’t apply to every men in Israel. The girls whom I shared the same love and passion for Israel as a country would agree but I am in no way expecting you to do the same. As always, I am telling a story based on real-life situations. If you are a woman curious about Israeli men, should you come to Israel and see it for yourself?

It’s up to you.

Disclaimer: This article is not meant to inform nor educate. All texts are based from a true story. 


Have you dated an Israeli bloke? I would love to hear your stories! Share it on the comment box below!

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Trisha is one of those people who left their comfortable life to travel the world and learn about life. Her style is to stay in one place she likes for 3 months (or more) to know what it feels like to eat, cook, speak and sleep in another culture that isn’t hers. She'd like to believe she's not traditionally traveling but she just chooses to be somewhere else all the time. Trisha also loves extremely spicy food, pineapples, plants and symmetry. In no particular order, her favourite cities in the world are Barcelona, Buenos Aires, Hong Kong and Tel Aviv. Follow her life adventures on Instagram: @psimonmyway

  1. Cari

    22 October

    I really love how you share your experiences, Trisha! Enjoy and Safe Travels! ❤

  2. D

    22 October

    Oh yes I’m sure you love it when you can go out every night for free. I’m sure you love having a free place to stay whenever you do whatever you feel like that night. And I’m sure you love having a personal butler that morning.

    Men being nice is a great thing. I have no problem with buying drinks because I’m enjoying someone’s company. I have no problem opening up my home to a guest in need. I have no problem being a great host. But my god you sound so entitled. You make it sound like men should be at your service and do whatever you want. But where in the article did you do anything nice in return? When did you buy a drink? When did you return the favor of their hosting (and I’m not talking about some sort of sex obligation)? I know it’s not the point of the article but I hope you can set an example of how these wonderful Israeli men deserve to be treated in return.

    • Trisha Velarmino

      22 October

      Hi D! Thanks for taking time to read. You don’t know me, you don’t know how my Israeli friends and family are fond of me, you don’t know how many people I hosted in my home, you don’t know how many friends I took out to dinner so I think we both are not in a good place to attack each other. But I totally understand your sentiments. Thank you for understanding this isn’t the point of the article. Shabbat shalom!

    • Adriane Kooren

      22 October

      @D – she does not mean it that way. Read back and see how she beautifully described the men of Israel in the most balanced way. Surely you are from Israel that is why you are reacting this way but the it is not the point of the article

  3. Marguerite Barteaux

    22 October

    Hi Trish! I am a french living in Israel for 2 years already. I can relate to everything you say because it is all true. It’s good to learn from an outsider because I felt the same when I first moved to Tel Aviv 2 years ago. The people of Israel is so good to be around with because there is nothing like this vibe in other countries!!! I hope you stay for a while and write more about israel.

  4. Sille E. Toft

    22 October

    Beautifully written! My boyfriend is Israeli and I can totally relate. You are so refreshing because this post is very honest. I hope to meet you and your good energy. Coffee in Dizengoff? 🙂

  5. Hugo

    22 October

    Nice memes 🙂

  6. Soraja Avdičaušević

    22 October

    Trisha, i just want you to know that the power of your writing has reached us all the way in Slovenia. This is the first time I comment on your blog but I found you in 2014 through a common friend who you went to the same school in italy. Agree to Cari that the way you tell stories are true and something everybody can relate to. Like this. I visited Israel last month and now I am back in Slovenia I cant wait to go back! You are correct its not about the men but the vibe of the people is something i always look forward to when landing the airport in tel aviv. My friends and I enjoy all your stories. We look forward to reading more about israel. SHABBAT SHALMO FROM SLOVENIA!!!

  7. Diana

    22 October

    Compared to the usual “10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date an Israeli Man” kind of post,this is really something different. The observations are very real I can very much relate to the things you said here. I feel like you are me when I first encountered the “outstanding world of Israeli men”. Thank you for refreshing the travel blogging world! There are no other travel blogs out there like yours x

  8. Christopher Crowder

    22 October

    Jewish American here. I passed this article to all my buddies in Israel. Some agree and a lot of them didn’t. As for me, I find this really mature and entertaining. This is life and more often we don’t talk about the real things that are happening. I salute your courage in writing freely. For sure this will get a lot of negative comments but I am also sure you will continue writing the truth. Keep it up! 🙂

  9. Tina and Jimmy

    22 October

    Love how you described how strong the Israeli women are and how inviting they are. I think Israeli men and women are so very nice. As in I’ve never come across anyone that I have not got on with very well. It’s interesting to learn about different military requirements for different countries. While quite a few require men to enlist, I have never heard of that requirement being for women. very interesting!

  10. Shobha

    23 October

    One of my good friends married an Isreali guy and he is indeed wonderful! Great husband and father. But he does smoke like a chimney. they met in NY when he ran off after his compulsory military training to see the world.

  11. Sarah

    23 October

    Love your article. Really interesting take and insight into the world of dating in Israeli culture. If I wasn’t happily married I might be heading to Israel 😉

  12. Megan

    23 October

    Really interesting account … always interested to know what the culture of dating is like in other countries … love that you say Israeli men are the by-product of the strength that Israeli women have!! By all accounts it sounds like they are actually quite well mannered gentlemen, and I love that it’s no a hassle to say no. Thanks for the insight Trisha!

  13. Christina

    24 October

    Trish, it is great that you have found a home in Israel. It definitely sounds like you are forming such long lasting friendships. I have not visited Israel nor engaged with an Israel man for any length of time but I am definitely looking forward to the encounter when it arrives.

  14. Christopher

    25 October

    As much as I love your writing … as a straight male I will not be dating any Isreali men but I do as always appreciate your point of view and the way you speak it 😜

  15. Rob

    25 October

    This is a sweet article. As a North American guy, a lot of this I interpreted as “these guys are beyond whipped for chasing tail” but hey, we’ve all been there. Israel is definitely it’s own world 🙂

    Love your blog! Safe travels!

  16. Sophie

    25 October

    This is really cool! I haven’t been to Israel but it definitely sounds like my kind of place. Love their attitude to life!

  17. Yanie

    7 February

    Hey. I loved your article. Obviously I found my way to your blog because I recently met a cute Israeli guy again. Actually, two nice blokes during one of my local trips but I really found it difficult to take my eyes off from the prettier one (I’m Filipina btw haha). I concur to what you said based on my 3 day encounter with them. I loved the conversations I had with the one I was crushing on. He was very polite, he listened and shared as much as I did. There was even a point where he asked me out. Too bad I was with my mother during the trip. You could imagine how it didn’t get anywhere (thanks to the parental guidance lol) but I just can’t help but agree with you.

    P.S. best part of my day was stumbling across your blog. I am now a fan.

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